Understanding

While it’s impossible to understand exactly what your family member is going through, it is possible to understand that there is nothing wrong with you, your family, or your family member for not being able to conquer PTSD on your own as a family. Becoming educated about PTSD and understanding that it causes a lot of responses from your family member that are unconscious might answer some questions.

Why can’t my family member sleep? S/he might be trying to avoid nightmares or is unable to sleep because s/he feels unsafe and is on high alert. Why is my family member turning to alcohol, drugs, or other addictions instead of me for help? S/he might be trying to avoid the pain associated with recollecting the traumatic memory, which could seem easier to do with alcohol or drugs than recollecting it to family members. Why is my family member always overreacting to simple situations? Certain triggers can remind your family member of the trauma, putting them in a combat-related state of mind. Not being in control of a situation can also cause an increase in anxiety, which could trigger a flashback – something your family member is trying to avoid.

These are just some of the questions that can be answered through family therapy, gaining knowledge to be more aware about PTSD, and talking to your family member if s/he is comfortable discussing his or her thoughts and feelings.

Suicide prevention

Going through an intense trauma increases one’s risk of committing suicide, and you should know what to look for if you fear your family member could take his or her own life. The symptoms that go along with PTSD, such as intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, survivor’s guilt, and depression can create a situation that is overwhelming for one to deal with³. Your family member might not be directly open about suicidal thoughts that s/he has had, but there are other signs that you can look for to prevent your family member from taking his or her own life.

In the case that there is an emergency call 911, and call 1-800-273-TALK, the VA’s suicide hotline, for information on how to get treatment for someone expressing suicidal thoughts or behavior.

Some warning signs of suicide are talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself; trying to get pills, guns, or other ways to harm oneself; talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide; hopelessness; rage, uncontrolled anger, seeking revenge; acting in a reckless or risky way; feeling trapped; or saying or feeling there's no reason for living⁴.

There are also warning signs of suicide that are unique to veterans. These include calling old friends, particularly military friends, to say goodbye; cleaning a weapon that they may have as a souvenir; visits to graveyards; being obsessed with news coverage of the war or the military channel; wearing their uniform or part of their uniform; talking about how honorable it is to be a soldier; sleeping more (sometimes the decision to commit suicide brings a sense of peace of mind); becoming overprotective of children; standing guard of the house especially while people are asleep and obsessively locking doors and windows; stopping prescribed medication and/or hording medication; hording any type of alcohol; spending sprees; feeling as though no one understands; or if they stop making eye contact or speaking with others⁴.

Being aware of these predictors can better prepare you to help your family member if s/he is having suicidal thoughts or plans to take his or her own life.

While feeling sympathy for your family member is undoubtedly a response that is warranted and necessary, going beyond this is essential in helping your family member successfully improve or eliminate his or her PTSD.

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